spoiled chinese girl

Sometimes customers make me laugh. Correction, a lot of the times customers make me laugh. What was hilarious was this is not a chat conversation like one would expect…  I walk away for 10 minutes from the email support system and get flooded with emails.

What’s hilarious is, this person normally emails very proper English, so obviously spell-check is their friend because when they’re rushing… that goes right out the window!

PRINTING Apr-27 2011 11:44
Your job is ready to be picked up.

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 15:52
is this shipping out today?

PRINTING Apr-27 2011 15:58
No shipping was paid for, so this job will not ship out.

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 16:22
yes please do i did next day,
i need tomorooe,
(he paid for next day turnaround time, but customer pick up)

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 16:23
yes we did next day…!!
(copied and pasted his original invoice, which specifies customer pick up)

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 16:25
please shiip today.. i need tomorrow
rush
(credit card# & expirey date)

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 16:36
please reply…

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 17:04
please confirm this has been shipped..

PRINTING Apr-27 2011 17:06
Extra $17.65 + taxes for shipping
(we already shipped by this time, and his order was only worth $17.00)

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 17:10
please shiip today.. i need tomorrow
rush
(credit card# & expirey date)

PRINTINGApr-27 2011 17:18
Tracking# ***************

CUSTOMER Apr-27 2011 17:27
shipping out today..
(I’d already gone home by that point)

PRINTING Apr-28 2011 09:44
Tracking# ***************
(next morning, confused as to why he’s still even emailing me)

Dallas was good. I’ll be making a write-up on the event later on today probably but for now I have to share the head-desk-worthy email that was received. And to think fondly of the fact that I could still be hanging out with my extended family instead of sitting here dealing with this kind of BS.

Hello,

I will be the one whoi take care of this matter, my partner ***CUSTOMER1*** is not confortable with english language!

We are still looking for our delevry for our latest order with ***COMPANY***. We never get be delivered to our office!

In my opinion i’m the customer and your are the supplier so it is your responsibility to make evry steps to track lost boxes white ***COURIER1*** or ***COURIER2***!

For now at this point i’m loosing money…we already paid ***COMPANY*** for stuff that we never get in our hands!!!

Now you need to make me a satisfield customer, you need to redo the printing of this job at your own fees or make all arrangment with ***COURIER1*** to get all lost boxes in a very very short lap time (24 hours)

My customer is pist of about me, we are not able to giving him some ansers for thoses fucking lost boxes…!

You need to hepl me, please do your homeworks! I realy need my stuff now!

I’m wating to ear from you very soon…

Tanks

***CUSTOMER2***

This may be the shortest but also strangest of all.

Apparently a client was having difficulty using our online system.  Granted, there were multiple points of contact, but I have a tendency to answer the phone, answer the question, and forget it ever happened.

Same with my emails.

So I was coming off to this older gentleman as being short, and not very friendly or customer service oriented… while assisting him on a self-service website.

Finally Friday afternoon at 3:30pm he decides to walk in the door and demands to speak with me personally.  Okay… I wasn’t expecting him to come in, so sure I’ll head out, but very confused. And rushed.

Client: I can’t figure out how to use this damned website! I can’t register!
Me: Okay, well email me the registration details and I’ll sign up for you.
Client: NO! You have to sit down and do it with me right now!
Me: I can’t do that. If you email me your details, I’ll have you online first thing Monday morning.
Client: NO! You have to do this for me RIGHT NOW!
Me: I can’t. There are no available computers to sit down at, and I have other things I need to do before 5pm.  Anything you do now is the same as doing it Monday morning anyways.
Client: Yeah I know that. But you still need to do it for me now! What kind of customer service is this?!?
Me: This is a self-serve website, and I am offering to do the registration for you and will help you place your first order Monday morning.
Client: I *KNOW* this is a self serve website! Do you talk to all of your customers this way?! Wow! They must keep you caged up like a wild animal! And feed you nothing but raw meat!
Me: …..??
Client: I’m just trying to get some shit ordered with you!
Me: *Shrug* Well I don’t respond to people who swear at me. (walks out)

Felt extremely relieved at that point realizing that I had the power to walk away from such a ridiculous conversation. A bit shaken up since the whole thing was just completely absurd beyond belief. And all of this right in front of the receptionist too, so I definitely had a witness to the entire conversation should any complaining come forth.

Although the only thing that happened, after explaining to my manager on Monday about the ordeal, he shook my hand and congratulated me. Because he doesn’t like that guy either.

Heh.

I was pretty happy it was the end of the day at that point. Finished up my work, went to the gym. Felt better than ever. Everyone outside of work was super friendly and nice and found me approachable. I was holding doors open for people that I normally probably wouldn’t have, people were asking me for directions, I even gave and received a “have a good night” with the guy at the pump across from mine after filling my tank for the weekend.

Hi **COMPANY**

pls chk the attached file

the smaller one is the one a got it done from **COMPETITOR** after your job was rejected it might not show a great difference in the pic but in actual it a difference of atleast 10% lighter then what the file was send to you. and I think customer satisfaction should be your #1 priority

and also you should be refunding me the whole amount becouse of the quality issue. and this job is not 10 years old that too late for you.

I will also send you by post if you want to see the difference
Thanks
**CUSTOMER**

Now… really the email is funny enough on it’s own.
But are some more details that make the whole issue even funnier.

This email was received Feb 25, 2011.
The order? It was placed November 1, 2010.

I enjoyed his defense of “This job is not 10 years old” therefore we should give him his money back. 9 years and 11 months okay for a refund anywhere else in the world for a custom made product that you did not like the quality of?

He certainly wasn’t happy when I told him that 4 months is too long to wait to tell us he was unsatisfied with the product. Five business days after receiving the order is maximum.

He also apparently has no business sense, if he went ahead and paid for the same job, for the same customer, at a competitor… without first at least guaranteeing we would even give him his money back.

Either way. As politely as I could, I told him we weren’t going to do anything for him because he failed to let us know within a reasonable amount of time he was unhappy with our product and di not give us the chance to rectify the issue.

He wasn’t happy.
At that point, I didn’t care.

What happened Friday February 25, 2011?

Something definitely happened.
I swear, every single customer I had to deal with at work was completely insane.
In my next series of posts, I will tell you some of their stories.

This particular story actually started a week before.  A known customer ordered a product that takes a week to print, at 4:55pm on Friday. All of our customers know, or should know, if they’re ordering anything that late, we won’t be working on it until the next business day.

Monday was a holiday in Ontario.

Tuesday, the customer received a series of emails. Including “We have side two only.” and “We have side two. Where is side one? Send side one.”

Wednesday I get a phone call, apparently the customer needs this for Friday. But we only started yesterday, and this takes a week to produce. *cry cry cry, whine, whine whine* Okay we’ll see what we can do. Then later on I sent an email saying the following: By the way, we don’t have a file from you yet? You have to send a file right away. RIGHT AWAY!

Thursday at 4:45pm, there’s another phone call that went something like this:
So are we on track so I can do something tomorrow morning?
Let me check… uh… why don’t we have a file from you yet?
You don’t have a file?
We emailed you Tuesday to say there’s no file. We emailed you Wednesday to say there’s no file. Why haven’t you sent us a file?
I didn’t know! *cry cry cry whine whine whine* I didn’t read your emails! No one at my office knows how to do this!
Look. Send a file. NOW. Make sure the file is PERFECT. We can try to stop the press first thing in the morning and run your job.
Ok ok ok ok ok!

Friday at 8:00am we end up with the same file… 8 times. Yes. We have it. Looking through it… it doesn’t work. It’s not sized right. WTF. Customer calls. “We can’t use your file. It’s not sized right. Nothing makes sense.” *cry cry cry whine whine whine* I can’t fix everything for you. You know how these files are supposed to be set up. Right now we can’t print this because it won’t work.

Customer calls back. But stops at the receptionist. “I don’t want to talk to Angela or *my coworker* They’re both young snotty bitches and I refuse to deal with them!” Obviously receptionist is going to tell us this happened.

We get to enough of an agreement (with the manager acting as mediator) that by 11:00am, we have even FIXED the customer’s file (and we *never* fix files, without charging $100.00/hour and this was not charged) and are waiting for the customer to say “Yes print it”  And that never shows up.

End of the day… so WTF.