• BigRockFinish.com: Shelley Marshall MC’ing at Smack http://www.bigrockfinish.com/2010/12/13/shelley-marshall-mcing-at-smack/ #
• My dad trying to hand over phone he bought… kept taking it back. 4 times. I know how an iPhone works. A clone is going to be no different! #
• I think I dented the desk with my latest head desk. "What is the URL of the webpage you're on?" "I don't know. I'm not the I.T. guy!" SRSLY? #
• @simonsouth If you're looking to get rid of any clothing etc, http://www.diabetes.ca clothesline program will be in the area on Jan 6th for pick up in reply to simonsouth #
• BigRockFinish.com: Señor Kasio playing at Smack http://www.bigrockfinish.com/2010/12/14/senor-kasio-playing-at-smack/ #
• @rovylernNV Dude that would impress me too! I can't do that ever! Email me your addy again please? (lilfunky1@gmail.com) No FB for me @ work in reply to rovylernNV #
• Reading "Living the Simple Life"…at chapter stating "The internet MAY BE a useful tool in the future…" when was this written!? 1996. Ah. #
• @simonsouth Yay! Is it a fancyful weight bench with bells and whistles & the leg thingie for when it's better to sit than stand for squats?? in reply to simonsouth #
• @strombo <3 you! in reply to strombo #
• @BellaVendetta66 I agree w/ @ScotoftheDead. I would totally do naughty things to myself with photos you just described! I'm weird like that. in reply to BellaVendetta66 #
• Cust: What is it you want me to do?!?! Me: I want you to reply to the email you received 4 days ago, and answer the questions in that email. #
• Hahaha. My cuddley-boo is the biggest sillyhead I know. I <3 the fact that he enjoys my level of crazy. Such a cutie adorable mushy-head! #
• Bye Rochelle the track bike. Woefully neglected for far too long, sold her off to a Toronto bike messenger who promises to take care of her! #
• Yesterday I had awesome coffee date with @cre8ica & included coffee, Chi-der, nachos, wings & beer. Also Mr.B officially met my cuddley-boo! #

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How baby, how are you doing today and how was your weekend? Hope great. My name is Jones Vincent, just saw your profile now and i am interested in getting to know you more better if you don’t mind. I am single and never married with no kid but i like kids…… I am here for serious relationship that will lead to marriage is possible. I think color, distance and age is never a barrier in a relationship, do you believe? Get back at me if you feel the same way. Your new friend Jones

Things that make me giggle “…marriage is possible” and the fact that he used the biggest font I’ve seen yet, along with the brightest blue colour. Holy crap.

Edit: Had to resize the font… it didn’t end up working on my bloggy thingie!

Hello To you….., My name is Dare and I would consider myself to be down-to-earth, easy-going type with a good sense of humor I always try to give a friendly smile although I can be quiet at times, I guess it’s just my nature Any how I enjoy music, movies and days out including spending quality time with someone special. Its hard to describe myself I would have to say that I am attractive, confident, intelligent and independent, with a very nurturing side. I am loyal to friends and family and consider myself to be truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I love to travel and meet new people, yet cherish my time at home.What is your idea of a perfect date? What is your idea of the perfect romantic vacation? I also enjoy traveling and am a pretty down to earth Man, love to laugh and like to make people laugh —caring– affectionate –love to cuddle. ..Please send me an email to dareolaitan1@*****.*** and i also have yahoo messenger Or drop me your personal email address so i can email you pictures of mine and we move on from there.Hope to hear back from you as soon as possible… Dare CARES

The signature is what made me LOL.
Also the fact that this guy seems to be nothing but a walking contradiction.
He seems to love everything, and also cherishes the opposite of everything.
Way to make it sound like you’re the most agreeable person on the planet.
Too bad I don’t believe you.

Hi there dear Just read your profile and you sound like a really nice down to earth person… Beautiful eyes and a fantastic smile by the way.. if you fancy chatting to a sane honest guy (so many per’s and weirdo’s on here) with a wicked sense of humor (and the biggest flirt you’ll ever talk too!! lol) and a laid back approach to life, who takes people for who they are, drop me a line I would love to chat and get to know you. To get to know each other for a solid relationshipI am prosper by name presently posted in Malaysia running my diploma in {A.B.E}getting to 30yrs now plz do not mind the mistake of age on my profile, height of 5′-4″ open-minded young man, wishing to have a good friends in life. I love to live and enjoy life, and take each day as a gift of God! In case you feel that friendship is also a gift of God, then do accept my friendship, so that we may be showered by HIS blessings, and be happy to be friends, by knowing each other and accepting each other as we are! Bye & take care Prosper gozie prosper

So… this guy apologizes for telling me that he’s 30 and his profile does not say so. It’s easy to change, so I’m not sure why they would try to be caught lying from the get go. Then you go to the dude’s profile… and it says he’s 30. So he’s lying about the fact that he’s lying. Now I’m just horrified and confused beyond belief.  And I guess I can honestly ignore this dude… since I do not believe that every day is a gift from god, since I’m quite agnostic about it.

So yay to technicalities!

Hello gorgeous hows your day going,i will really like to know you more can you tell me a bit more about yourself as you are such a cute woman that no man with his right thinking mind would ever want to take for granted..?will really like to get talking with you sometimes,do you use messenger? as it will be beter to talk on there hope to talk with you soon..have a nice day.xxx.Frank

When people use obnoxious letter sizes and colours I think I have to call them out on it. I can’t be bothered to look up the exact colour or font but this is the best approximation that I can come up with. Although I will admit, I enjoy that he’s in his right mind. Since there can be no other.