spoiled chinese girl

Anyone have any suggestions?

of writing like Ashleigh. A. I take that as a compliment. B. shut up

Today's Moksha class showed me I need to let go of a lot. I realized my light-headedness and inability to complete yesterday's class had nothing to do with my mental strength, but the fact I had zero morsels of food within me, and nothing had been input in over 18 hours.

I felt strong in today's class, comfortable, afraid. The room was too bright, the windows too big, the ceilings too high and the people too crowded. I need to let go of the fact I am not them, that my poses are not as perfect, that I cannot bend as low or reach as far.

In one perfect moment of clarity during my warrior 2, I let my gaze wander towards my fingertips, and saw snow falling outside the window. Calmness washed over me and I was okay.

In another, I was flooded and inundated and drowning within myself, my emotions, thoughts, dreams, aspirations, disappointments and feelings. I was warned that my camel poses would do this but I didn't believe them until now. I'm sorry. I should have listened. I don't know if it was releasing memories from my lower back or releasing my bottled emotions from my heart.

New love.

I went to my first Moksha Yoga class today at 10am.  It was really fun, a lot of the same and completely opposite of the Bikrams classes I was doing a few months ago with my friend, now turned Bikrams instructor, Ashleigh.

The poses were different, the atmosphere was different, the feeling was different.  The feeling was the same though because it was familiar in an unfamiliar place.  Like De’ja Vu or something where you recognize it but it’s all new again for the second time.

I can’t explain it, I don’t think I ever could.  I’m excited and scared to go back.

I might.  I have to.  My yoga posts will never be a work of art.

I also went shopping for plastic beer cups for tonight. The weird thing was at the checkout. Some (older, Chinese) woman was buying like 6 pieces of fruit and ran ahead of me into the express checkout. Sure, whatever. Then when her purchase totaled something like 3 dollars, she handed the cashier a stack of coins that all looked the same. At first I thought they were quarters until I noticed their edge and realized they were nickels. And also realized there was no way she had enough.

She didn’t. She had 95 cents on her. So the cashier asked her for another 2 something dollars. She returned one of the fruits. And she was then asked for another dollar something. She showed the cashier an empty wallet. (I don’t know why that mattered) although I could have sworn I saw a very new & crisp hundred dollar bill in there.

Seconds before I was about to offer to pay this like dollar fifty for the woman’s fruit, a lady 2 people behind me asked how much she owed, and started lecturing this woman on not going shopping if she didn’t have money. And kept repeating herself until the lady was basically out the store.

I’m now curious. Was this woman just really out of it? Did she think the same as I did, and they were quarters and not nickels in her hand? If I’m right and she had a hundred dollar bill in her wallet, did she just not want to break it for something less than 2 bucks? Was she nuts? Does she do this all the time waiting for people to pay for her purchases? It was definitely strange and surreal.