spoiled chinese girl

So after the whole being depressed on Tuesday for not going to the gym even though I super-wanted to, I ended up going Wednesday for my cardio, yoga, then chest/shoulders/back/biceps/triceps workout. I complained to Badur that I don't get yoga. And he told me there's nothing to get, there's just something to be. I'll try that on Sunday.

Although I'm probably going to go to the gym tonight, after dinner, before an airport run. I wish there was more of a hero's welcome for the ex-expat(s) (read: snow and cold and typical Canadian winter), but it's like 11 degrees out there right now. In January. In Toronto Canada. I hate global warming.

No, it probably won't be. But for serious. I feel depressed because my upper body and arms and especally abs are still sore from a workout two days ago, and my trainer cancelled today's appointment because of the weather, and I've spent the majority of the day trying not to offend my co-worker by coughing up a lung and the contents therein. That junk about seritonin(sp?) messing with your mind is all insanely true. I may risk the drive to the gym in about an hour just to try and get rid of this feeling.

I'm not even sure if it's purely a chemical reaction that I'm having. I'm a f***ing selfish person, I always have been and I likely always will be. And when I'm at the gym I'm allowed to be selfish. I dislike sitting still so using something like yoga is really tiring for me when I'm trying to clear my mind. But shit like weights & cardio machines let me be by myself for 15 reps at a time. I don't *have* to think about my family, my work, my friends, any potential significant others, nothing. I can think about me, myself and I for the entire time. Of course I *DO* think about my family and friends, but it's because I want to, not because I have to.

This is my meditation.

I’ve got no problem with people who want and need to have personal trainers but I seriously think I’m going to do better once he’s not following me everywhere.� I mean yea it’s great I got all these new exercises and structure to a program, but it’s just not interesting.� I really do have more of a male-body-building mindset while he’s trying to keep in tune with the female slender-and-shape type thing that most girls would want.� I’m working on my own though so it’s still cool.

Today I went for 30 minutes on the crosstrainer which is loads harder than just the elliptical I normally go on, but still fun.� In my 30 minutes I went 1.93 miles with my average being something like 3.9 to 4.0 miles per hour which I think was pretty crazy.� It was also on the resistance level 3 which was so much harder than I would have thought.

After that I went and did like chest flys on the cable weights, then worked my shoulders/back a bit (same exercises I do during my circut with the trainer) then biceps and triceps.� Then I tried to work my abs on just the crunch thingie but that made no sense, someone took the weighted situp thing I normally use so I used the upright one which is loads harder, and only got in like 20 situps with 20lbs resistance.� But nothing’s super sore right now so yay me!

Now I have to get to bed because I really need to get up early to meet up with the trainer again.

It’s a good idea to go to the gym.� Even better is to go to the gym two days in a row, or as many days in a row as possible, since muscles, my muscles at least, tend to thrive when worked on in a more consistant basis than like… once a week.� Cardio is something I could do every day and have no problems with. It’s all great.

It’s a bad idea to think “Oh my trainer won’t listen to me and not work out my arms like I want him to” and to go work them out myself the day before I was supposed to meet up with him.� Because guess what, I’m paying for his time and he’s supposed to listen to what I have to say.� Therefore he listened to me and gave me some more arm workouts today in our circut.� Of course, I worked out my arms heavily the day before since it was made to my assumption that he wouldn’t!

Oi I have sore arms! Today we did everything I did in the first circut, with bicep curls and tricep… uh… curls? *shrug* after doing the back/shoulder ones.� And we skipped out on the balancing on one foot thing since it probably took up too much time and honestly did nothing for me.� The planks were awsome.� The last time I did it was 25 seconds which is a pretty decent record for me, that shit HURTS.

So yea.� I also invited him to try out a unicycle next week, that’ll just be funny.

My friend Manada on IAM was talking about writing quick & dirty poems (not that kind of dirty, just kind of crappy) for this creative writing class she’s in.� To show off, I wrote this for her assignment in about 30 seconds.� There was no particular insipration for it, I tried to make it emo and sad but it’s mostly stupid.

one day i was walking down the street
when i was blown off my feet
he stood there ragged and raw
his piercing blue eyes are all that i saw
when he walked past i took him in
and my thoughts did nothing but sin
there by beauty i did see
my love, my life, was staring at me