And here is my final thought.
I’ve grown tired of trying to defend myself against people who aren’t willing to listen, or aren’t willing to try to understand, or plain won’t believe that we might have a right to do what we want. Of course I’m talking about the All-Grrl suscon. And by the opinions of a select few in the accompanying comment forum, I’m not sure why I was even trying.
The sad part is, I received many of these comments last year, when I, again, tried to defend our position to host an all-female event. A safe place for women in the suspension community or who were interested in the community to come, and enjoy a “girl’s day out,�? to learn about suspensions, to learn they weren’t the only women who were interested, and to boost all of our ego’s by thinking “Yes, we can do this too.�?
“It wasn’t fair! We were promised an OOBEcon*, which got cancelled, then this Suscon appears but we weren’t allowed to attend!�? Well you know what? OOBEcon getting cancelled wasn’t our fault. Don’t blame us because an event we had nothing to do with got cancelled. And I’m sorry you traveled “all this way�? to find out the suscon was women only. But instead of bitching and whining about it, why not organize your own suscon? NO ONE WAS STOPPING YOU. Just because we were having our event was not stopping you from having your own. You were stopping yourselves from having your own.
“Well if I set up an all-(type) suscon, I’d be getting the same comments!�? Maybe. Why don’t you try it and find out? Maybe you will find that the community supports your “type�? more than it supported our “type�? and maybe you’ll find a whole new niche of people who will suddenly be interested in suspending that weren’t before. Or maybe you’ll find that the all-grrl suscon got everyone so argued out that no one gives a damn anymore if you host the most obscure suspension event around. Just as long as you do it safely and sanely with proper staffing, no one should give a damn.
“It’s stupid, every suscon is the same so why bother making doing all girls?�? Maybe to you. But not to everyone. This one is hard to reply to, especially to males who refuse to accept that an all-grrl suscon would be successful. It’s like the collective thoughts of feeling shameful for eating a spoonful of ice cream, or the feeling of menstrual cramps, or the glow from being pregnant and giving birth. Some things men are just NEVER going to understand, no matter how many words we use and how many actions we provide; it’s not the same until you experience it.
The thing is, I’m 100% in support of this suscon. And I don’t think I would actually participate in a ritualistic event during one. Too many much of my support system is male, all my best friends are males and it wouldn’t feel the same to me. But even though I have a highly unlikely chance of suspending here, it doesn’t mean I can’t go, use my experience and knowledge to help others who need this supportive environment. Because that’s what this is. Support for others who want to try something new.
I think my final thought lies here. If you have a problem with something. DO SOMETHING to change it. Don’t just sit back and whine about how life isn’t fair. If you haven’t helped make my life fair for me, I don’t see why I should listen to how you feel I haven’t made your life fair for you.
*OOBEcon stood for Out Of Body Experience Convention, that was supposed to take place in early July, but was cancelled due to lack of interest in organizing it.
