spoiled chinese girl

I’ve grown tired of trying to defend myself against people who aren’t willing to listen, or aren’t willing to try to understand, or plain won’t believe that we might have a right to do what we want. Of course I’m talking about the All-Grrl suscon. And by the opinions of a select few in the accompanying comment forum, I’m not sure why I was even trying.

The sad part is, I received many of these comments last year, when I, again, tried to defend our position to host an all-female event. A safe place for women in the suspension community or who were interested in the community to come, and enjoy a “girl’s day out,�? to learn about suspensions, to learn they weren’t the only women who were interested, and to boost all of our ego’s by thinking “Yes, we can do this too.�?

“It wasn’t fair! We were promised an OOBEcon*, which got cancelled, then this Suscon appears but we weren’t allowed to attend!�? Well you know what? OOBEcon getting cancelled wasn’t our fault. Don’t blame us because an event we had nothing to do with got cancelled. And I’m sorry you traveled “all this way�? to find out the suscon was women only. But instead of bitching and whining about it, why not organize your own suscon? NO ONE WAS STOPPING YOU. Just because we were having our event was not stopping you from having your own. You were stopping yourselves from having your own.

“Well if I set up an all-(type) suscon, I’d be getting the same comments!�? Maybe. Why don’t you try it and find out? Maybe you will find that the community supports your “type�? more than it supported our “type�? and maybe you’ll find a whole new niche of people who will suddenly be interested in suspending that weren’t before. Or maybe you’ll find that the all-grrl suscon got everyone so argued out that no one gives a damn anymore if you host the most obscure suspension event around. Just as long as you do it safely and sanely with proper staffing, no one should give a damn.

“It’s stupid, every suscon is the same so why bother making doing all girls?�? Maybe to you. But not to everyone. This one is hard to reply to, especially to males who refuse to accept that an all-grrl suscon would be successful. It’s like the collective thoughts of feeling shameful for eating a spoonful of ice cream, or the feeling of menstrual cramps, or the glow from being pregnant and giving birth. Some things men are just NEVER going to understand, no matter how many words we use and how many actions we provide; it’s not the same until you experience it.

The thing is, I’m 100% in support of this suscon. And I don’t think I would actually participate in a ritualistic event during one. Too many much of my support system is male, all my best friends are males and it wouldn’t feel the same to me. But even though I have a highly unlikely chance of suspending here, it doesn’t mean I can’t go, use my experience and knowledge to help others who need this supportive environment. Because that’s what this is. Support for others who want to try something new.

I think my final thought lies here. If you have a problem with something. DO SOMETHING to change it. Don’t just sit back and whine about how life isn’t fair. If you haven’t helped make my life fair for me, I don’t see why I should listen to how you feel I haven’t made your life fair for you.

*OOBEcon stood for Out Of Body Experience Convention, that was supposed to take place in early July, but was cancelled due to lack of interest in organizing it.

What was the atmosphere like at last year’s event?

The atmosphere was really calm and friendly and very relaxed, there were no rudeness, attitudes or ego’s at all, no one was trying to show off or anything like that. Everyone who was there was friendly and talked to other people, anyone with experience was very open and willing to share their feelings towards suspending and pulling with the people who would ask. The majority of the participants were new to suspensions and pulling, and I was new to working at a suscon.

What was the difference between the all-grrl’s suscon compared to other event’s you’ve been to?

I’ve been to two other suspension events, the first Kentucky event in 2002 and the Toronto Suscon in 2003. It’s not to any event is better than another, and I may not be a good judge of this because during the Kentucky and Toronto events I was (supposed to) suspend, while at the All-Grrl Suscon I was working as staff. Kentucky’s event and the All-Grrl suscon were actually quite similar in how it was put together, a lot of first-timers being suspended or doing pulls, but the Toronto Suscon felt like they were organizing an army, which was expected for the size of the event.

Were you more comfortable there compared to other events?

It wasn’t really a question of comfort for me, since I was working as staff and not a participant. I was comfortable talking about my experiences suspending to anyone who would ask. Which I found surprising considering I had never met many of these people before, but was willing to share a lot of information I thought I would never be able to tell someone else.

Was it well organized?

It was well organized in the sense that we had everything that was an absolute necessity for the event. There was no schedule to adhere to because many of the participants had never suspended or pulled before, and the staff did not want to push people to go up, and rather let them go at their own pace. But overall it did stay “on schedule�? in that we started about at the time we wanted to, and finished at about the time we wanted to.

Are you planning on going to this year’s event?

I will be attending this year’s event, again to help in the bleed-out station, and also hopefully to learn more about the actual suspension process. I will likely not be participating in a suspension or pull.

What did you notice was the biggest difference about having no men around? (the comfort level, any specific “vibes” that you felt, not as much pressure to “perform”, less or more self-concious etc etc)

Personally I felt the “vibe�? was very similar with the Kentucky event and the All-Grrl Suscon. I think this due to the fact both events had the majority of people who had never suspended before, with a small number of staff, was outdoors in the summer. I’ve never felt a pressure to perform or felt threatened by anyone who was at an event, no matter where I was.

Because I did not participate, I can only really comment on my observations. I think those who suspended felt safe in the environment that was provided. The comfort level was definitely raised because there was no one who might make an ill-timed or inappropriate comment on purpose or by accident. No one seemed self-conscious at all about their clothing choices during their event and generally seemed very happy at the idea of “girl power�? and just being at such a special event.

Why did you decide to go to the event- was it specifically because it was all women in attendance, or was it a matter of location?

I had been asked by the organizers, Rachel (tigertante) and Jill (feisty,) to help organize and work at the event. Since it was the first of it’s kind that I know of, I jumped at the chance to “become a part of history.�? Location did make a difference, as I have yet to travel out of the city for a suspension event.

Did you partake in a suspension or pull?

Mainly my role at the all-grrl suscon last year was to help work in the bleed-out area, removing the air out of the girls that had finished their suspension or pulls, as well as document as much as I could with my digital camera. I did not have hooks put into my own flesh, but I was able to participate in Dyzcordia’s chest pull by acting as resistance to her hooks.