spoiled chinese girl

Jasonthe29th is a wise man. With the whole new years thing of impending doom, he came up with a great idea for the depressed to become less depressed, by not dwelling on things not accomplished, but instead on things that were accomplished. Anyways, here's my reverse-resolutions from last year where I pretty much sounded crazy, and here's what I resolve to do in 2005:

• Got my First Aid & CPR certification
• Entered a unicycle trials competition.
• Bought my first bike
• Bought my first car
• Got a job “immediately” after finishing school.
• Graduated from university
• Lost 40lbs this year (Took 15 months in total actually)

Anyways, badur's party is in not but a few hours, and I still need to put on pants!

So my hair appointment was at 9:30am. I was finished by about 10 having cut off way more hair than I thought I was going to. Then off to the mall to look for rechargable battaries for my camera, and now I realize I need to look for my camera. Got those plus the one with a car charger since I figure it would be useful, but also ended up with Family Guy Volume 2 and 3 (Everywhere was sold out of Vol.1 and now I found out it's actually on sale until January 2nd, I'll have to try to get it!) Then I went to the gym I wanted to sign up for, and basically did the math that it was a d*** good deal to sign up for immediately ($35.60/month for the first year, $29.00/month afterwards) and my fitness assessment is on January 2nd at 7pm, I'm sure I'll post all the sordid details on my blog. I get an assessment every 3 months so it'd be a good motivator to have posted I think. Although there should be a yoga class I want to go to January 1st so I might go anyways. Unfortunatly all the spinning classes are at 6:30am so unless I want to get my ass out of bed at 6am three times a week, I don't think that will work quite as well. I'd love to try it though… later. So anyways, that's me being manic. Or, how Angela spends $600 by 12 noon. I watched TV & Family guy DVD's at a boy's house until it was time for Whirlyball.

Finally I found Whirlyball to be a fun and exciting game, slightly jolting and I'll have bruises on the insides of my knees I'm sure. Extremely thankful to myself that I thought to check the playing area for my wallet before accepting defeat that I left it at my house.

Anyways, I didn't get my nails done, and won't, and I'll update my blogs & stuff when I wake up. I should also probably dye my hair tomorrow, I'll see how I feel.

Finally, the unicyclists are amusing when not on unicycles. We invented a new game using an already existing game and pieces. We invented lots of new games but this one has rules and names of trick moves and everything. But I'm under a NDA, so all I can say is “Cool Reversie!” and… “SLAAAM!”

• Update my regular blog with funny-ass article.
• Update all my blogs with my reverse-resolutions for the year.
• Get my hair cut in someone's basement cuz it's cheap.
• Find a place to get my nails done (god I sound like a girl)
• Buy new rechargable battaries and pray they work
• Find & sign up for gym, pray they give me massive discount
• Dig out something to wear for New Years, pray it still fits.
• Not get lost while going to the unicyclists' WhirlyBall tournment.
• Try to stay “xEDGEx” until at least new years.

I can’t believe someone could still affect me in this way. The stupidest little things affect me, and it’s not like I’m entitled to such feelings most of the time either. I feel left out, I feel left behind. I feel that no one’s listening to me. I make it sound like I want to be the center of attention, and for all I know, I probably do. I want everyone to notice me, to want me, to hang out with me. I can be the most self-centered bitch I know.

Is that the problem though? That I want everything I can’t have, and everything I get, I have a tendancy to throw away? I’m used to material posessions so much that I crave the abstract, and I crave what I can’t touch, and I crave what can’t be bought.

I just want to not have to bitch and moan and whine.
I just want to be happy with what I’ve got.
I just want to be happy with who I am.

I’ve been having some of the best days of the last few months with my best friend. He’s been just here and we talk and we listen and we sit and be silent. It’s the best relationship I’d ever had and I’m going to be very sad when I have to start sharing him with others that are visiting him as well as when he goes “back home” to Mexico while I stay in Toronto.

He’s always making me listen, and making me think, and generally making me a more introspective person. The things I used to do that I don’t do anymore, and the things I never did that I do now.

I’ve become a caring person, I generally care about my friends, and I’ve become more open about showing it. I know the difference between lust and love now, and I’ve had him help me more than he could probably ever know. I’ve learned so much about myself through him & for that I thank him emmensely(sp?)

Of everyone I know, I really do love Phil. He’s my best friend.